88: {Interview} The Art of Public Speaking with Melissa Entzminger, MA

Interested in Pubic Speaking? This episode is for you! 

Today I have award winning speaker and speaking coach Melissa Entzminger with me and we unpack all of the things! 

Melissa shares her journey from being terrified of public speaking to becoming a public speaking coach. She provides tips for finding speaking opportunities, crafting a compelling speech, and overcoming nerves. Melissa emphasizes the importance of understanding your audience & incorporating storytelling into your speeches. She also discusses the benefits of public speaking, such as increased visibility and credibility. 

Takeaways

• To find speaking opportunities, network with your target audience & reach out to conference organizers directly.
• Craft a compelling speech by understanding your audience and incorporating storytelling.
• Overcome nerves by identifying the root cause and using techniques like breathing exercises and visualization.
• Public speaking can lead to increased visibility, credibility, and business opportunities.

Acclaimed public speaker, Melissa Entzminger, has dedicated the last 15 years to guiding professionals in crafting and delivering powerful, unforgettable presentations. With a Master's in Communication & 5 years as a college professor, she infuses her workshops and coaching sessions with a mix of proven strategies and engaging, interactive learning. Many of her clients initially feel daunted by the task of assembling their speeches, terrified of freezing up and being judged or rejected in those moments of silence.  

More Resources on Melissa HERE and on LinkedIn HERE

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Transcript

Caroline (00:01.886)
Welcome, Melissa.

Melissa Entzminger -Taking Your Stage (00:03.798)
Thank you so much for having me.

Caroline (00:06.292)
So I'd love to hear your story. know that you worked in corporate a long time. You even taught public speaking in a university setting. And now as of earlier this year, you've gone out full on your own, full entrepreneur. I'd love to hear your story and how you got here.

Melissa Entzminger -Taking Your Stage (00:21.728)
Well, I am a unique public speaking coach because I did not wake up one day and go running for the nearest stage excited to share my message. In fact, my story was quite the opposite. When I first started in public speaking, the thought of giving a speech terrified me. I was a freshman in high school and at that time in my life, I thought I wanted to be an attorney and a family friend who was an attorney said, if you want to be a good attorney, you need to be good at public speaking.

maybe consider joining this competitive speech and debate program. And the thought of giving a speech was not something that I was excited about, but I really wanted to be a good attorney. So I joined and I could vividly remember my first speech. It was an impromptu speech and I was supposed to prepare for two minutes and speak for five. I prepared for 15 minutes and spoke for 30 seconds. And there were more ums and uhs than actual words in my speech.

and the butterflies weren't flying in formation and my face was flushed, my palms were sweaty. It was just a terrible experience. But I was determined to be a good attorney and so I followed my coach's advice. I learned how to overcome those nerves. I learned how to craft good speeches and I practiced and practiced. And I can remember my mom yelling up the stairs, stop practicing, it's time for dinner. And I'd say, just five more minutes, mom, I'm almost done.

And as I went along, I learned a little secret that I'll let your audience know about. Impromptu speaking is not actually impromptu speaking. It is well rehearsed speaking. Even improv speaking is well rehearsed speaking. The real art is in knowing when to use your stories and the examples that you've practiced in the situation. Now, sometimes people do this better than others.

politicians maybe when they answer the question that they wish you asked instead of the one that you actually asked. But over time I worked through this and learned the strategies and those are the same ones that I help my clients with to win awards for their speeches as well.

Caroline (02:35.518)
Thank you for sharing that story. And you make a great point of the practice, practice, practice speech, because you don't just get up there on stage and like not get out of the park. Like you have to put the reps in.

Melissa Entzminger -Taking Your Stage (02:45.43)
Yeah, 100 % practice makes permanent, so.

Caroline (02:49.574)
So to anyone listening to this podcast now, if you're a thought leader or an expert in your field or you would like to be, and you would like to start speaking on stages, what do you suggest to that individual starting their speaking journey?

Melissa Entzminger -Taking Your Stage (03:07.744)
So to find out what stages you can start speaking on, you want to think about the audience that you want to be speaking to. So if, for example, you are somebody who maybe is in a former military person and you want to speak to firefighters and police officers, then networking with them may be on LinkedIn. Because you can search very strategically and finding those people and then networking them.

Hopping on Zoom calls, letting them know who you are and what kinds of offerings you have is a great way to get started. So if you think about who your target audience is, think about what organizations they're part of. You can also reach out to conference, the people that organize conferences directly. They're always looking for speakers and write your pitch, follow up with a phone call, explain who you are and what the benefits that their conference attendees will get from

attending your seminar. And then from there it becomes referral based, right? So you do a good job at one conference and perhaps then the next conference comes because, we're looking for a speaker. I know this great speaker.

Caroline (04:21.256)
Yeah, I'm glad that you mentioned that the referral basis, because that's exactly how it happened for me. So for me, I joined a mastermind group that had other individuals in it that hosted large events and they hosted large events and also smaller events too. And so in the beginning, they invited me to come speak specifically on LinkedIn to their group of female entrepreneurs. And so once I went in there and delivered and had, they had results for their audiences.

the opportunities just continue to snowball. mean, between the live events I've been asked to since then and the online events too, I think the key is just to get your foot in the door and start getting the word out. I mean, even if it's something you have not done before, what you really would like to, start with a small group and just pitch yourself.

Melissa Entzminger -Taking Your Stage (05:10.228)
Yeah, that's a great idea. There are so many communities these days and so many of your entrepreneur friends have their own communities. so speaking on those stages is a great way to start small and build your offers out from there. And it also helps you figure out as a speaker what topics you like speaking about.

Caroline (05:30.698)
Okay. So we've covered the, want to speak and you want to get on stages and that's how you need to do it is follow exactly what Melissa and I just suggested. Now you've been accepted to be on stage and you're going to get a 10 minute segment, 30 minutes segment, whatever it looks like. Is there a science of crafting this perfect speech? And if so, what does that look like?

Melissa Entzminger -Taking Your Stage (05:54.474)
There is a science to crafting a good speech and it starts with thinking about your audience. So I'm a big believer if you have the opportunity to poll your audience and ask them your topic area and what they want to learn as a result, it's a great way to help get into the minds of your audience. And so once you're in the minds and you understand what they want to go into, it's much easier to write your speech speaking directly to your audience.

We have all sat through talks where we're like, already know all this, or what am I gonna make for dinner tonight? Because we've mentally checked out, because the speaker hasn't captured our imagination. And so the way that we tell stories, that's a great way to help capture your audience's imagination. But also making sure that you start the process after you've figured out what your audience wants to learn about your topic with a brainstorming step.

People forget this step or maybe don't know that they're supposed to do it all the time. And it acts like mental vomit. Just get all your information out on paper and there's no judgment about any of your answers. But if you don't do this step, it's like building a house on sand. It's not going to last for very long. And the problem arises when we do miss this step is one, there's so many gold nuggets in your mind that you're forgetting.

because you didn't take time to just get it all out. But two, often entrepreneurs and speakers struggle getting to the time limit because they didn't take time from this step. They don't have a whole arsenal of ideas that they can pull from. And so they're like, well, this is all I've got. I only have five minutes. How am I supposed to get to 30? And so when we start working together, we take that first brainstorming step. And now they've got like two hours worth of content and it's whittling it down. And that's a much easier

less stress inducing place to be speaking from.

Caroline (07:53.054)
I love that you said that about polling your audience and not everyone gets the opportunity to do that. I do that literally on LinkedIn all the time. I ask my audience, what do you want me to write about? What do you want me to podcast about? And they will tell you. And even if they don't comment or like it, because that's all really visible on LinkedIn, they will actually vote. So even if you can't pull your audience, talk to the host or whoever is coordinating the actual event and pick their brains on who you're exactly speaking to. So you can pull out those gold nuggets.

like you mentioned, so that you can be set up for success and actually tell a fulfilling, exciting story so that your audience is not thinking about dinner plans.

Melissa Entzminger -Taking Your Stage (08:31.798)
Yes, and yeah, that is a great segue into thinking about how you're telling stories. And so we know that psychology research tells us if we tell a statistic in a story format, our audience is going to be 22 times more likely to remember it than if we just told them the facts and figures alone.

22 times better. So how do we tell a story that captures our audience's imagination that invites them to step into that story with us? Well Colin Boyd is a master storyteller and he says that there's three ways that three things that you need to incorporate into your stories to make them really come alive for your audience. The first is what you see externally. The next is what you feel and tell yourself internally.

So I could say I hiked up a mountain on a random Thursday. It's not super engaging story. Probably no one wants me to finish that. But I could tell the story this way. I could feel the hot sun on my face.

as I looked up at the mountain I was climbing. As I looked around, everything felt peaceful and looked peaceful, but inside I felt anything but. You see, I had a big decision to make. Do I take the job of my dreams and uproot my entire family? Or do I stay at this mediocre job and continue to get extended family support with helping watch the kids? In the second example,

I invited the audience to step into the imagination with me. I didn't give them all the details of all the things. Those three things, what you see externally, what you tell and feel yourself internally, are total game changers in making your stories come alive for your audience.

Caroline (10:26.196)
So say those three again, you see yourself, you tell yourself.

Melissa Entzminger -Taking Your Stage (10:29.588)
what you see externally. So you as a storyteller, what you're seeing around you. So in my second example, I was seeing the mountain and everything was peaceful. And then what you tell yourself.

and what you feel.

Caroline (10:51.082)
I'm glad you brought that up because I literally had feel myself on the mountain making a hard decision, make it be a job change or a relationship change or whatever that looked like. And I was in the story with you and you just did that for 30 seconds, like a 30 second exercise.

Melissa Entzminger -Taking Your Stage (11:06.972)
It just captures your audience's imagination and those three are the game changer.

Caroline (11:14.164)
So let's talk about the feelings that people have about getting on stage or public speaking. feel like most people sometimes would rather just fall over dead and get up on stage and do public speaking. But tell me how you overcome those things and what are the benefits to getting out there and doing public speaking.

Melissa Entzminger -Taking Your Stage (11:37.152)
First, if that's how you feel, you are not alone. It is ranked the number one fear above death in America. So Jerry Seinfeld, the comedian does this skit and he says, if you're ever at a funeral, you want to be the one in the casket, then giving the eulogy. And if that's how you feel, then you are not alone. But how do you overcome those nerves? Because I firmly believe when you're able to overcome those nerves and you can speak,

The world is your oyster. You can accomplish anything. So how do you do it? Well, I work with my clients to get to the root of what's causing that. There's all kinds of strategies on how to feel less nervous and how to mentally reframe this whole process. But until we get to the root of what is causing those nerves, it's a little bit like putting a bandaid on a shark attack. Sure, it'll stop a little bit of the bleeding, but...

it's not going to help you long term. So I work with my clients to get to the root of where that's coming from. And often it's from something in childhood and sometimes it's something seemingly unrelated. Maybe it was your singing in a choir and a sibling at the end of it gave you a negative comment about it. Maybe it was out of jealousy or maybe they were trying to be helpful and tell you that you were actually singing off key. But now when you go to give speeches, those feelings of

nervousness and I'm not good enough are coming up because they're transferred from those same feelings as a kid. I worked with one client and he was promoted to a sales position and needed to give lunch and learn sales talks and as he gave them he was very nervous about giving them.

And as we worked together, we uncovered that when he was a child, they would all get together for Christmas dinner at his grandma's house and all the cousins would hang out and they would all do a roast where they would all make fun of each other and it's all in good fun. Well, he was one of the younger cousins. And so when he tried to keep up, he just couldn't. And so now as an adult, those same feelings of inadequacy and not enough.

Melissa Entzminger -Taking Your Stage (13:49.866)
were the same ones he was feeling when he was giving his speeches. So once we identified the root of what was causing this, you just take the power out of that situation and those nerves miraculously start to decrease. So we worked through a process of visualization and journaling and now he's climbed two steps up the corporate ladder and is doing amazingly in his career.

One of the techniques that I worked with him on is a breathing technique that calms your parasympathetic nervous system. It's called the five by five by five method. So you breathe in for the count of five, you hold it for the count of five, and you exhale for the count of five. And you do that five times. And when I first tell clients about this, they're like, really? It's breathing. I do that every day and I don't even have to think about it.

But then they try it and they're like, holy smokes, this totally works. So if you're having a difficult conversation or before you do anything that makes you a little bit nervous, try this and this will help you feel calmer. Another thing to think about is to reframe it instead of thinking it, those feelings as nervous, reframe them as excitement. Your body doesn't know what those feelings are. And so by you giving them a different name,

it changes your thought process around it, helping you feel more excited about the opportunity to speak instead of feeling nervous.

Caroline (15:24.586)
love your five by five by five breathing recommendation and tell me, is that something that you would do right before you get on stage or 30 minutes before an hour before? Like what's the timing that you need to do that exercise?

Melissa Entzminger -Taking Your Stage (15:36.852)
Yeah, you can do that right before you go on stage. You can do that every day a few times a day leading up to the event. know, anytime you think about it and maybe you start to feel some of those nerves, you can practice that breathing technique so that you start to feel calmer when you think about it. Another technique that is super powerful that famous athletes do is visualization. And so you picture yourself walking up to the front of the stage, picture yourself going through your speech in as much detail as possible.

and then picture the applause and sitting back down. And why this works is your brain doesn't know the difference between you giving your speech and you visualizing giving your speech. And so everybody knows the second time you've done something is so much easier than the first. And so if it works for famous athletes, I know it'll work for you.

Caroline (16:26.666)
That's a good transition to my next question. So let's say, okay, I've spoken to groups, maybe 10 to 15 people, maybe my local community or online and you're ready for the next step. How do you know when you are ready? And is there any type of mental exercise or breathing exercise or anything that you do when you're increasing your speaking engagements, actually the cadence that you're doing them and the audience size that you're speaking to.

Melissa Entzminger -Taking Your Stage (16:55.862)
I firmly believe that whether you're speaking to an audience of one or 5 ,000, that you should pick one person in the audience to give your speech to. And by not focusing on everybody's eyes and everybody's judging me, you're just giving that speech to one person. Now, obviously you have to make eye contact with everybody because sustained eye contact with one person is awkward, but...

If you are able to just give it to one person, you'll start to see those nerves decrease. And the other thing that, well, two other things. One, people tend to feel nervous about getting judged. You're on stage, everybody's gonna judge how I'm doing. Well, the amount of time that you're spending thinking about other people judging you is the same amount of time that those people are thinking about you judging them.

And so everybody is thinking about themselves and how they're coming across and what people are thinking about them. So really people aren't thinking about you as much as you think you are. so rest assured in that perspective. And the other thing is you've been invited to speak. And so you are automatically considered an expert just by stepping up on that stage. And even if the boogeyman in your brain starts to think

Well, this person's better at this and this person's better at this because we tend to compare our flaws with other people's strengths. But remember that whatever you've been invited to speak about, you're a subject matter expert in. And by you being brave and stepping into your power and sharing your message, you are going to make other people's lives better.

Caroline (18:42.058)
Okay, dropping truth bombs there about, guess what? People are not thinking about you when you're sitting up there on stage and you're so nervous and you're worried about your outfit and am I sweating? How's my hair? Guess what? They don't care. They're not noticing any of those things.

Melissa Entzminger -Taking Your Stage (18:59.027)
It's okay.

Caroline (19:01.182)
So I want to talk about next, the benefits of public speaking. So for me, it's opened up a ton of opportunity as far as additional speaking engagements, business, clients, just visibility in general. I've grown my audience both virtually and, you know, my network, my professional network. I mean, can you tell us what benefits are attached to public speaking?

Melissa Entzminger -Taking Your Stage (19:30.262)
All of those things you mentioned are 100 % true. It helps your business, it helps your visibility. And also, in a sea of other entrepreneurs and coaches, it helps you stand out. And so yeah, a lot of people wanna speak on stage, but if you are able to speak on stage effectively and to walk into the minds of your audience, capture them and leave.

Because you can tell when you're done with your speech and the audience is right there with you and you have them captured. That sets you apart as, okay, you're a next level entrepreneur. You are a next level speaker. And so that helps add to your credibility and gives you that standout factor.

Caroline (20:13.448)
Yeah, I'd add when you have the lineup, when the speech is done, that people want to talk to you for, and get your, pick your brain or just meet you or take a picture with you. That means you've done a really good job. And even if you aren't getting that when you're first starting out, that is goals. Okay.

Melissa Entzminger -Taking Your Stage (20:29.394)
For sure.

Caroline (20:31.696)
So what is lighting you up about some of the clients that you're working with right now?

Melissa Entzminger -Taking Your Stage (20:37.834)
What is lighting me up about my clients is their big goals. So I have one client that I worked with recently and she was an exec at some large media corporations and is now an entrepreneur and has to give two workshop keynote type speeches. And even though on paper and on her resume,

She is a high achieving individual. The thought of giving those speeches and the thought of putting herself out there is nerve wracking. And so we have been working together and helping her deliver those speeches effectively. So I help take the overwhelm out of the speech writing process. And I also help unpack those nerves and help you feel better about giving those speeches. So she successfully

gave both of those speeches and one of the other speakers couldn't believe that was the first time she had given that speech and has been nominated for an award for giving another one of those speeches. So I'm very proud of her.

Caroline (21:49.118)
That is huge. Kudos to you. mean, what a huge milestone.

Melissa Entzminger -Taking Your Stage (21:54.41)
Thank you. I am very, very proud of her. She did an amazing job.

Caroline (21:59.252)
So as we wrap up, how can our listeners find you?

Melissa Entzminger -Taking Your Stage (22:03.168)
So I'm on LinkedIn as Melissa Ensminger and I'm on Instagram and Facebook under Taking Your Stage. And I would love to connect with your listeners. I work with clients one -on -one. I also have a free ebook that we can put in the show notes. I've also written a digital course if people want to DIY writing their speech themselves. And I have a coupon code for just your listeners if they would like to

start stepping into their power and giving incredible speeches.

Caroline (22:35.7)
Thanks, Melissa.

Melissa Entzminger -Taking Your Stage (22:37.12)
Thank you.